ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY
The goals of acceptance are to change your aim from getting rid of unpleasant emotions to fully experiencing them in service of achieving your desired goals. Anyone can follow the steps, which are as follows:
- Practice "defusing” your judgment from your emotions. Labeling your feelings as negative and your thoughts as truths tends to extend your desire to avoid them to the circumstances and/or actions that stir them up. You need to break this link to become more capable of taking the action you need to achieve your desired goals—or to stop maladaptive behaviors like relationship sabotage or drug abuse designed to prevent you from feeling or thinking unpleasant things.
- Clarify your goals. You may not even be aware of some of them, so impossible might they seem because of the painful feelings that even contemplating them stirs up.
- Commit to behaviors that will enable you to achieve your goals. You must decide that you're going to achieve your goals no matter how much pain striving toward them may cause you.
- Accept the impossibility of ceasing to feel unpleasant emotions. You will never, ever succeed in feeling only good. So stop trying. Seek to become strong enough to tolerate feeling bad.